⊹ ⊹ How did I find balance + finally break the cycle of a lifelong toxic relationship with food and my body? ⊹ ⊹
I always thought that achieving my goal weight or finding the perfect diet or body would lead me to food freedom. The truth is, food freedom came to me after years of hard work on myself and my connection to my spiritual practice, loving myself, and opening my heart. I cannot stress enough how much my life has elevated and shifted since I have gotten to this place of intuition and freedom from guilt and shame around food—and I wish the same for everyone experiencing disordered eating. Life is way too short! The more I healed myself, the easier it became to have clarity around what my body was craving and needing. Intuitive eating is difficult to achieve in a world that tells you conflicting ideologies what to eat and how much of it. No matter what you’re doing, you’re doing something “wrong” and you should feel guilty…so you can spend all of your money on products and diets to reverse your shame. No, no, no. Source did not provide us with food in order for us to feel guilt or shame. Food is a vessel for love, community, culture, and nourishment—no more and no less. Many use food as a means of control or as a manifestation of negative beliefs. For me personally, the most important aspects in healing my eating disorder and disordered eating habits were building strength and loving myself by implementing healthy habits, restructuring how I viewed food as the enemy, self love exercises, journaling, neutralizing my relationship to my body, cultivating a meditation practice, reading books, therapy, finding self empowerment, and implementing boundaries (with myself + others). A lot of people ask me for advice on how to redefining a negative cycle/relationship with food and body image. The following is my beginner’s guide to healing your relationship with food or things to do if you feel stuck in this area. You are not alone!
Healthy Habits:
Eat consistently! Don’t starve yourself to the point where you’re dying by the time you let yourself eat food. The mind wants you to think that restricting makes you worthy or will solve your problems, but the reality is that restricting often leads to binging because the pendulum swings the other way. Consistently nourish your body with a balance of healthy fats, protein, an yes—carbs. Carry healthy snacks around with you and don’t skip meals! Drink lots of water to stay hydrated.
Remind yourself that food is not the enemy. Food is fuel.
Be more intentional around preparing and eating your meals. Try to eat with friends whenever possible and make it a social activity rather something you do in secret. Look up new and fun recipes that inspire and excite you!
Be more mindful when eating--no distractions! Sit down and breathe 5x in and out before beginning to eat. Say a prayer of gratitude to yourself, thanking yourself for nourishing your body.
When you do indulge, remind yourself that it's because you LOVE yourself and deserve to enjoy life! Be present to the flavors and textures of your food. It’s a treat, not a cheat!
Please try stop tracking your calories (if you do that)! I know it's hard but this has GOT to stop. Even start with not tracking one meal and go from there. It truly is all so arbitrary anyway. The thoughts you are thinking around what you're consuming are far more important energetically.
Fill your day and life with things that bring you JOY! Hikes, being in nature, getting active, going to the beach, getting a job at a store you love with products you're passionate about! Spend the time you would worrying about food on exploring what you LOVE!
Surround yourself with positive people that prioritize mental and physical health and are on the path to evolution and spiritual growth as well. You are the product of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
Self Love Exercises:
Say “i love you” in the mirror, out loud, as many times as it takes for you to believe yourself.
Stand in front of the mirror naked and pick out what you LOVE about what you see. Every negative thought you have to come up with 3 compliments.
Every time you start to think of things and ways you're not "good enough," replace it with ways that you ARE good enough. This will actually rewire your neural pathways/change the way you think and thus your reality but it just takes PRACTICE.
Journaling Prompts:
Make a list of everything you love about yourself
Part one: Make a list of all of the qualities you look for in a friend. Part two: brainstorm ways you can be that for yourself
Come up with self love affirmations/mantras. ie "I love myself. I am worthy of love and respect. I am talented. I am accepted as I am" Write them on sticky notes and put them on your mirror, on your fridge, etc.
What am I proud about myself? What is my biggest accomplishment?
How do I make others feel?
What makes me feel empowered?
What makes me feel happy?
What are my insecurities? What are my beliefs about myself? Are they true?…try to reverse the language—for example “I’m so dumb” becomes “I am smart.” Repeat the positive affirmation.
What do I need to say no to? What am I leaving unsaid in my relationships?
Why am I lovable?
When do I feel the most at peace and the happiest? How can I cultivate more of this?
When do I feel lit up? When do I feel inspired and in love with myself and my life? Pinpoint exactly what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re wearing, etc. an cultivate more of that!
What makes me feel alive and inspired?
How can I make steps towards my dreams? What are my dreams and why do I deserve them?
How am I of service to others? What can I do to contribute?
Boundaries:
Unfollow, unlike, unsubscribe to anything that makes you feel shitty about yourself! Online or IRL. Mute anyone on Instagram that makes you feel shitty about yourself!!!
Set boundaries with how much time you spend on your phone, scrolling on IG, and overall comparing via social media.
Make it known with people in your life that you don’t appreciate their comments about your body or diet. When you confront them you don’t need to be accusatory, focus more on expressing how you’re FEELING than anything else. A good response to any comments about your diet/food/weight/etc., is just to redirect the conversation lightly with “I’d rather talk about you! What have you been up to!” or “I’d rather talk about something else.” Your body and diet is YOUR business, and frankly a pretty boring topic if you ask me.
Restructure everyday language—eliminating disempowering words such as “just, only, think” Empower yourself with your word choice. Step into and stand in your power.
Consider seeing a therapist. There’s no shame in seeking help, and therapy isn’t just for people with “issues.” Therapy is an incredibly valuable tool, and if you are privileged enough to have this available to you, please take advantage!
Consider sitting in on an OA meeting. You don’t even need to talk at all besides saying your name. Just go and listen to the other peoples’ stories in order to validate that you are sooo not alone in this! https://oa.org/find-a-meeting/?type=0 to find a meeting near you! Personally, 12 step is a little dogmatic and intense for me but it might be helpful just to hear some people's stories.
Meditation:
Try just sitting and meditating on the mantra "I am accepted as I am. I love myself"
Learn to just observe your thoughts. Differentiate the voice in your head and your inner critic from yourself. THAT IS NOT YOU! You are the consciousness observing those thoughts. So redirect your focus.
Filter and redirect negative thoughts! Get in the habit of restructuring negative thought loops Into positive ones—fake it till you make it!
Reading Materials:
It WILL get easier, I promise. The more you tap into your intuition and TRUST yourself, you won't even need to worry about any of this. It's a process and it takes a lot of hard work and dedication but the fact that you're even willing and open and SHOWING UP means that you're ready for the challenge. Remember, it's not even about the food...it's the thing behind the thing.
If you have questions or would like more of my insights, I offer personal one-on-one mentoring about intuitive eating & body image. Reach out to me if you’re interested in exploring more! Sending lots of love!